Our Very First Candle: a Sweet Experience
- 15-10-08

By Nicole Ballinger
Today we lit a candle for the first time, at 7 pm on Oct. 15th – for International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. This is the first year my family has known about this very special day. While it is not yet officially observed in Australia, it was formally observed in our home this evening.
It was a beautiful experience. I was surprised I didn’t shed a tear.
Our daughter (nearly 8) actively participated, in complete innocence. She is too young yet to understand what this is about, and our miscarriages were all early -- so I never ‘looked pregnant’ in her memory. Today she remains unaware of our unsuccessful efforts (four times over) to give her a little sibling.
At 6:45 pm, my daughter saw me preparing a white, tapered candle – without understanding its significance. She didn't ask me what it was for either, eventhough we don't usually have candles at the table. I was shaving off some wax at the bottom, because it was too wide for its holder. Known for her bubbling enthusiasm and joyful spirit (yes, she’s fabulous!), she asked me: “What are you doing, mum? Oooooooooh – how exciting!! Can I help?” So I taught her how to gently whittle the wax off.
She chatted with great excitement about her newfound skill of whittling, and then set the table for a little dessert. She asked if we could eat our ice cream without lights on (“to help the environment, mum”). Then she insisted on waiting till we were all seated, for the ‘ceremony’ of lighting the candle. My husband lit the candle; he and I smiled quietly at each other.
It was so nice – I felt a definite spiritual ‘connection’ to our babies in heaven. It was like an invisible line to their perfect little souls. Nice!
I look forward to the day when Oct. 15th is officially recognized here in Australia. Our MPs are confident that it will likely be enacted next year.
Email to Friend
Fill in the form below to send this news item to a friend:
All News
Update on Getting 15 Oct official across Australia
- News Item
- October 30, 2011
October 15 Now Official in NSW Australia
- News Item
- October 15, 2011
Campaign for Rights of Stillborn Babies
- News Item
- August 20, 2011
Birth Certificates for Stillborn Babies
- News Item
- July 13, 2011
New, Ground-Breaking Film about Miscarriage
- News Item
- June 9, 2011
Online Support for TTTS
- News Item
- May 30, 2011
New Study: No Need to Wait to Try Again...?
- News Item
- October 9, 2010
Memorial Service on Oct 10th
- News Item
- September 5, 2010
Campaign to Change Laws over Stillbirth Investigations
- News Item
- July 7, 2010
News
- News Item
- April 6, 2010
SIDS: Is Hope Finally on the Horizon?
- News Item
- March 22, 2010
By Nicole Ballinger
According to a recent report in The Journal of the American Medical Association, a team of doctors from the Children’s Hospital in Boston and Harvard Medical School conducted autopsies of 41 babies who died from SIDS and other causes. The result was the detection of brain abnormalities in SIDS victims (sudden infant death syndrome).
These researchers found abnormalities in the victims’ nerve cells that make and use serotonin. Serotonin is thought to help coordinate breathing and sensitivity to carbon dioxide. When babies sleep face down, it is believed they breathe in exhaled carbon monoxide, taking in less oxygen. A rise in carbon dioxide activates nerve cells in the brainstem, to stop most babies from asphyxiating.
But the researchers believe that a baby who dies from SIDS has defects in his or her serotonin system, which impairs the reflex to wake up and turn over.
These doctors now hope to develop a diagnostic test to identify infants at risk for SIDS. They also hope to develop a treatment to protect infants who have these abnormalities.
Read more here
Once Again, Support for IPIL Day from BOTH Sides of Parliament House
- News Item
- February 26, 2010
A Charity that Helps Parents, Friends, Families & Professionals
- News Item
- December 27, 2009
Sharing our Hope Helps Us to Heal
- News Item
- November 15, 2009
Unanimous Vote in Parliament to support Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day
- News Item
- November 4, 2009
A Remembrance Service for Australians and Visitors to Australia
- News Item
- October 20, 2009
October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day
- News Item
- October 12, 2009
Rate of Premature Births Dramatically Increases
- News Item
- October 5, 2009
New Test for Pregnancy Complications being Developed
- News Item
- July 2, 2009
Wisdom from a Grief and Loss Specialist
- News Item
- June 5, 2009
Speaking with Hospital Staff
- News Item
- April 3, 2009
We Lose One Every Minute
- News Item
- October 22, 2008
Our Very First Candle: a Sweet Experience
- News Item
- October 15, 2008
Petition to Raise Awareness of Pregnancy and Infant Loss
- News Item
- August 24, 2008






















