What Can I Say?

ff_listening.jpgGrief is always hard, no matter the circumstances. When we hear of someone's  loss, we struggle to find the right words to say.

This is especially hard when it comes to pregnancy and infant loss. Unlike the loss of a grandparent, a pet, etc, most people have never lost a baby -- so this is a situation most people have never experienced. Therefore, we are simply ill-equipped. This subcategory aims to change that.

Here you will find the words that will comfort. You will also discover 'what not to say', and why. These articles aim to help you avoid the common social trap of 'saying the wrong thing' without meaning to (and often, without even realizing it).

This section, like everywhere else on this website, is designed to help, and to make this tragic loss as easy to get through as possible.

Thank you for visiting this website; we survivors of loss really do appreciate your support.

How to help Someone who’s had an Abortion

When a baby dies for any reason, the parents’ grief is silent. They usually don’t talk much about it, because they fear they’ll be judged – even if they couldn’t have prevented the miscarriage, stillbirth or post natal death. With abortion, it’s much worse…

The Hardest Decision of All: Whether to End a Pregnancy

Here are the right words to say -- when you find out that someone had to end a pregnancy for serious medical reasons.

It Must be Easier that You Have Other Children

It’s actually just as hard to lose a baby when you already have kids, than if the baby was your first. Here’s why

You’re Lucky it was Early (i.e. a Miscarriage)

People who have had a miscarriage are not luckier than others, because their loss happened early in the pregnancy. Here’s why.

Aren’t you Over it Yet? You Need to see a Shrink

If you're one of the lucky ones who's never lost a baby, it probably surprises you how long our grief lasts. This article helps explain why...

You're Lucky You have Other Children

When loved ones say this, they're right of course: I'm very lucky to have living children. But this doesn't make losing a baby any easier.