It was so long ago, but I remember it so vividly. Six months into our pregnancy, we learned that our twins were stillborn.

The doctor told me that, for medical reasons, I had to carry our babies until I either went into labour naturally or came closer to the due date. I didn’t understand why I had to do this, and I was angry.

My imagination ran wild with the “what if’s”. What if other people looked at my pregnant belly and asked about my due date? What if they asked about my baby? Was I to tell them my twins had died, or was I to pretend that everything was fine? I felt like hiding out till it was all over, rather than deal with this. It was so difficult to see other pregnant women at that time, too.

Nonetheless, looking back on it, there were some advantages to having to wait. It gave Fred and I time to plan for how we’d deal with announcing our babies’ birth and death, choosing burial options, choosing their outfits, etc. Fred and I also used this time to seek support and comfort from people close to us, and to speak with a grief counsellor which was very helpful.

That was decades ago. There was no choice back then, but today waiting for delivery to occur naturally is not usually the only option. Some parents decide to have a medical procedure, like having labour induced. In our local support group of  The Compassionate Friends, I’ve heard one young mother say that she chose this option because she would have found waiting to hard to bear.

These days, many doctors also prefer that labour be induced to deliver the baby, rather than wait. They realize it’s difficult to carry around a dead baby. The procedures used may be painful or take time to work. But some parents also feel this is worth it.

The choice is really up to the parents, and there are many factors to be considered. So I would strongly recommend getting a second opinion about both options, to help you make the decision that’s right for you. Good luck, and please come back to this website again. We care.