Miscarriage, stillbirth and neo natal death are all tragic. It doesn’t matter to parents if their baby died before or after the birth: loss is loss, grief is grief -- at any stage. My husband and I lost stillborn twins many years ago, and it remains my passion to provide information and support to others.

Stillbirth refers to the loss of a baby anywhere after 20 weeks of pregnancy, and before the birth. Stillbirths are recorded in countries like the USA but, surprisingly, these babies are not noted in infant mortality figures.

No wonder, as bereaved parents, we can feel that our loss has been “dismissed”.

Most often in a stillbirth, the baby died before labour. The rest die during labour or during the last moment before birth.

Sometimes the umbilical cord is compressed, or around the baby’s neck. Sometimes the placenta separated from the uterus. Sometimes the death is caused by an infection. But often the cause of death is unknown – more than half of stillbirths remain unexplained, in the developed world today.

If you have delivered a stillborn baby, you have my deepest and heartfelt condolences. Please don’t blame yourself for losing your baby. It wasn’t your fault.

I urge you to ask your doctor what might have gone wrong. Ask to see the autopsy report, too. You see, if you are planning to have another baby, then at least the doctor might be able to rule out some things, and make some helpful suggestions.

And take a look through this website – especially the Red Alert section. These articles could save your next baby’s life. I wish you all the very best, and that (next time) you are blessed with an uncomplicated pregnancy and delivery, and then a very healthy baby.