Whether your baby died from miscarriage, stillbirth or post-natal complications, the grief is always hard for parents.  Others may not understand how long it can take for bereaved mothers and fathers to come to terms with pregnancy or infant loss. Sometimes they suggest we should ‘get over it’ quickly, and so we start to believe that maybe we should – but it is rare to recover quickly and completely from the death of a baby.

There is no ‘magic’ length of time when you will feel healed – everyone recovers in their own time.  I encourage you to let yourself feel the sadness, anger, etc -- and remember that it is normal to feel like that. I encourage you to lovingly remember your baby.

Months after losing our Marcus, I was still so grief-stricken that I saw a grief counsellor. It was the best thing I ever did. Carol told me it was okay to admit I was still in pain, and to know that I would always love Marcus (as well as my other ‘angel babies’). As soon as Carol told me this and I knew that this was all okay, I started to feel better.  So please remember: you never have to stop loving your baby.

I have spoken with many, many bereaved parents in the decades since Fred and I lost our babies. It seems to be a common experience that some of the pain might always be there, and so will the memory of our babies. Personally, I have never forgotten ours, and sometimes I find I can still feel a little sad about it all.

But it has been decades since I felt that original, deep sorrow. And I scarcely recall how devastated I felt back then.

So if you are in the throes of new, raw grief you have my heartfelt sympathy and I am glad you are visiting this website. Please have a look around – there are scores of helpful articles here.

Please know that the pain will gradually ease, but I doubt you will ever forget your precious baby. It takes hope, time and love to heal. Keep the faith, reach out for support, and surround yourself with loving people. 

I know it is hard to believe, right now, that you will ever get over this terrible grief. But you will. The horrible pain will ease, and you will be happy again. Thanks for reading and take good care.