What broke the silence for me was when I discovered a ‘blog’ board: an online community where anyone can write down what they think about a given topic.

There are many blog boards for those of us who have lost a baby. They are the ‘meeting places’ of hundreds of men and women who’ve all suffered the same kind of loss. They offer mutual support and healing.

Since most people don’t talk about their grief months after losing a baby, we end up believing: “I’m the only one”. We think nobody else could possibly understand. But an estimated 1 in 3 pregnancies ends in loss! So while we suffer alone privately, so does our neighbour, our boss, or someone else close to us. It’s just that none of us realize  the other person lost a baby too, because no one’s talking about it! Crazy, but true!

So when I first came to one of these blog boards, I was totally relieved: “Wow! This has happened to other people too. Not just me!”

I could ask any questions I wanted, and I could really vent my grief. I got knowledgeable answers from other parents who went through the same pain I did. With their support and my new knowledge, I began to feel better.

After a while, I overcame enough grief that I could then help others: especially newer people on the board. Today I share my hope and concern with them, the same way that was first given to me. It’s a beautiful human chain! And I always benefit when I help someone else -- it’s ‘win win’.

Blog boards help us heal at our own pace: we visit these websites whenever we have the time, or feel the need to. There’s no pressure to join in, to write in, or to stay in. We make all the choices. And I like that. You don’t have to use your real name (I don't!), and they’re free to join.

Here are a few of these blog boards. Hope to see you there!

canadianparents.com

blogcatalog.com

pregnancy.org