My Baby has Died. Do I have to Stay in the Maternity Ward?
http://www.pilari.org/articles/43/1/My-Baby-has-Died-Do-I-have-to-Stay-in-the-Maternity-Ward/Page1.html
Bridget .
Bridget is a mother of 3 living children, who also lost 5 babies due to: miscarriage, stillbirth and complications during (full term) delivery. She and her husband have now retired from running their own business. They enjoy travelling and spending time with her grandchildren. By Bridget .
Published on 21/12/2009
If your baby has died, you don’t have to stay in the maternity ward. But you might find that doing so is actually helpful
Some Find this Harder, Some Find it Better. There are Advantages to Both
Whether a baby dies from miscarriage, stillbirth or neo natal death, the mother can choose to stay in the maternity ward or not. There are advantages and disadvantages to both.
When we lost our son in 1971, I didn’t know I could leave the maternity ward. I was finding it very difficult there: to see other parents, holding their healthy babies. I was in shock and I didn’t think about asking to move. Luckily my husband Fred asked for me, and I was moved to another ward.
I found this better because I was no longer with the other mothers and babies. But the staff outside the maternity ward were not used to dealing with my situation. They looked so uncomfortable, and not one of them asked me about my baby and our loss. They were really professional, but they must have found this very confronting.
Very sadly, we lost stillborn twins, some time later. This time, I decided to stay in the maternity ward. By now I had read that some parents felt they’d been better off recovering in the maternity ward. They said it helped them to face their loss and grief – to overcome the denial. Everyone is different; I believe there’s no single “right way” to do this.
For me, staying in the ward this time was still tough. But I did discover that doing so had other benefits. After all, the staff in the maternity ward are experts in obstetrics.
Also, since pregnancy and infant loss are (very sadly) fairly common, the staff there had more experience with it. As a result, they seemed less confronted, listened better and asked me about my babies and my situation..
Now if you choose to stay in the maternity ward but find it’s too difficult, please ask the hospital staff to move you. They will.
One last thing about maternity wards: your hospital might be one of those progressive ones with a separate room away from the nursery and mothers with babies. Ask about this. Recovering there could ideal: you could be away from emotional ‘triggers’ but at the same time get cared for by obstetric professionals.
So as you can see, there is no clear-cut answer. Only what you feel is best for you. So please think it over, and try to make the best decision for yourself.
When we lost our son in 1971, I didn’t know I could leave the maternity ward. I was finding it very difficult there: to see other parents, holding their healthy babies. I was in shock and I didn’t think about asking to move. Luckily my husband Fred asked for me, and I was moved to another ward.
I found this better because I was no longer with the other mothers and babies. But the staff outside the maternity ward were not used to dealing with my situation. They looked so uncomfortable, and not one of them asked me about my baby and our loss. They were really professional, but they must have found this very confronting.
Very sadly, we lost stillborn twins, some time later. This time, I decided to stay in the maternity ward. By now I had read that some parents felt they’d been better off recovering in the maternity ward. They said it helped them to face their loss and grief – to overcome the denial. Everyone is different; I believe there’s no single “right way” to do this.
For me, staying in the ward this time was still tough. But I did discover that doing so had other benefits. After all, the staff in the maternity ward are experts in obstetrics.
Also, since pregnancy and infant loss are (very sadly) fairly common, the staff there had more experience with it. As a result, they seemed less confronted, listened better and asked me about my babies and my situation..
Now if you choose to stay in the maternity ward but find it’s too difficult, please ask the hospital staff to move you. They will.
One last thing about maternity wards: your hospital might be one of those progressive ones with a separate room away from the nursery and mothers with babies. Ask about this. Recovering there could ideal: you could be away from emotional ‘triggers’ but at the same time get cared for by obstetric professionals.
So as you can see, there is no clear-cut answer. Only what you feel is best for you. So please think it over, and try to make the best decision for yourself.